After the Fight
by Fortunate Son
Summary: We all know that a soldier faces unimaginable horrors during war, but we seem to forget that they face another battle when they get home. A battle for acceptance. Just a one shot involving our hero's feelings about the war when they get to London. Enjoy.


_We see the men who return from war as great hero's, as men who fought for noble causes and who served with pride. Yet, we can never fully look them in the eye. To look a soldier in the eye is to see the truth, it is to realize the infinite sadness that these men hold in their hearts. The sadness they hold for the men they served beside, for the ones who's lives are changed by the wounds they suffered, and for the men who never came back at all. Yet,to look past this sadness, pain, and suffering, is to see the bonds that can never be broken. The bonds that can only be formed by men who have lived through hell with each other._

_ We see them when the walls they have are up, when they have locked away everything they experienced and that changed them. We see them when they have hidden the things away that we will _never _understand, only able to catch glimpses from the cracks in those walls. Even if we do not understand that which they have seen, we should support them fully and help them heal. For when a soldier returns from combat, it isn't so much his body which has been destroyed, but his soul, and it is that which needs the most time to heal, and which the scars shall never fade from._

Alek and Deryn walked into the London hotel that Dr. Barlow had arranged for them, they had left the Leviathan late this evening, and it was already on its way to France with the AEF. Alek knew that Deryn was sad to see it go, she still was. The second they closed the door to their room, he walked up to her and brought her into the deepest embrace he could. "You know I hate to see you sad Deryn, it kills me inside to see you like this."

She returned his embrace willingly, he was the only person she would let her walls down for. "I know Alek, its' just that its hard leaving such a barking big part of our lives behind, we've went through so much in the past couple of months aboard that ship."

Alek could tell she was close to tears, they had been through too much hell at too young an age, the entire generation had. They had been thrown into, and practically fought, an entire war on their own. But Alek knew he would do it all again, even killing Tesla, as long as he could do it with her.

Alek spoke to her comfortingly, "Deryn, it's okay to let it out. After the hell we've been through, no one is going to frown upon you for it. I know I won't, and not one soul has the right to do so, because they don't know what we've had to do." They sat down on the bed, still in each others arms. Alek slowly ran one of his hands through her hair.

Deryn sobbed quietly into his shoulder, he could feel the tears in the corners of his eyes too, and didn't hold them back. Both knew that they couldn't have done some of the things they did without the other, they were each others solid connection to a world that didn't involve fighting for your life. They could finally let their emotional barriers down, they were only there to help them hold it together during and after combat. Alek felt something snap inside of him, a high pitch noise caught in his throat as he fought it.

He lost, and began to sob as well. They both let it out, once again leaning on each other just as they had aboard that great warship. The scars that the war had left on their body were not major, and would fade with time into nothing. It was the scars that had been left on their hearts and souls that would remain, for the scars each held a memory that could never be forgotten.

They cradled each other closely, the feeling that they could finally start to let go of the constant feeling of danger began to creep over them. Alek felt Deryn pull away a little as she sniffled, she brought her hand up gently, wiping a tear away from his eyes. Alek planted a soft kiss on her forehead, a simple sign of thanks when neither of them could talk. They lay there, seeking the only comfort they had, until a dreamless sleep overcame both.

It was dark when Alek awoke, Deryn was asleep, still as close to him as possible. He sighed at the thought of that evening, the feeling that someone had told them both that it was okay to let go, that they didn't have to fight anymore. He felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He would admit that their where certain things that he'd never forget about the war, but he realized that, with time, they could both move on.

Deryn stirred, her head lifting up from his shoulder. She stared at him for a while. "Are ... Are you okay, Alek?" She asked quietly, not wanting to break the silence that surrounded them.

He didn't smile, but his eyes spoke volumes to her, "I ... I'm better, not okay, but better. Are you?" He asked, equally quiet.

She nodded, agreeing with him, "I guess it'll just take time. I'm still expecting the Leviathans barking claxon to sound for general quarters any second now, still used to looking out for any spies or soldiers." She admitted. Alek knew how she felt, he'd been scanning the crowd through the omnibus windows when they'd arrived in London. It was force of habit at this point.

She gave him a soft kiss, staying as close to him as possible, using him as an anchor to reality. "I think everything will be alright, with enough time, but I don't want to forget what we've experienced together Alek."

He nodded softly, "I think, so long as we have each other and our friends, that we can move on. I don't want to forget it either, but we have to move on at some point, we have to leave the past where it is." He told her as he felt her hand grasp his. They both knew that it would take time, and that things would never be normal again, but that maybe they could go on and escape the war which had ruled there lives for the past year.

I honestly don't know why I wrote this, but I felt that I should. I don't think it's been one of the best works I've written, but I'm posting it due to the simple fact that every soldier who comes home from war has a heaviness in their heart that regular people can never understand. They have emotions and memories that they can never let show around others, and that they have walls that only come down when they are alone. If you've read this, then thank you for doing so.

If you wonder why I have them break down like that when both seemed fine by the end of book three, it's because most every soldier goes through something like this. A sort of decompression stage where they realize that they can finally let go, that it is finally okay to let all of your walls down.


End file.
